You Are Not What You Weigh by Lisa Bevere

Author:Lisa Bevere
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781599790756
Publisher: Siloam
Published: 2007-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

When I got back to college I realized I had gained some of my weight back. While complaining to a sorority sister about it, she suggested taking water retention pills. I remembered my mother taking them, but I wasn’t sure what they were for.

“Isn’t that just for before your period?” I asked.

“No!” she assured me. “I take them every Friday morning so I’ll be thin by Friday night!”

It sounded too good to be true. “Are you sure they are OK?” I asked.

“Yes, look . . . they are not even prescription!” She handed me a box of diuretic pills that looked harmless. The front of the box sported a picture of a happy woman in a bikini. I flipped them over and read the ingredients.

“They’ve got a lot of caffeine.”

“Yeah, it is great . . . caffeine gives you a buzz! Try one.”

I put one in my pocket. I’d always been able to lose weight easily before. I’d lose it again. But this time it took longer.

Meals were getting harder for me to resist. In addition to the calorie counts and diet tips, we all shared a love/hate relationship with food. It was our enemy because it made us fat, but we loved it because it tasted so good!

Food held a different place in my life. I thought more and more about food—not just about my weight. I developed a passion for food and for drinking. I loved everything to the extreme. If I drank, I drank to get drunk. If I ate, I ate until I was engorged and uncomfortable. But I still wanted to get attention for my looks, so I exercised to the extreme. In a constant pursuit to burn calories, I never sat still. I would even shake my legs all through classes or during my study time. I ate excessively—or dieted excessively. There was no in-between. I only thought about school when I had a test. Still I retained a B average.

The law of food restriction had aroused an excessive desire in me. The law always enflames the lusts of the flesh and soul. I could starve myself, but once I started eating there was no stopping until physically I could eat no more or the food was gone. It was either feast or famine.

This is a hard lifestyle to maintain, and I enlisted the help of laxatives, then diuretics, in my battle. By my junior year in college, my body was addicted to them. It no longer functioned normally. Coupled with a stomach disorder I already had, I was in constant discomfort. I was afraid of my own body. What if I couldn’t go to the bathroom? What if I got fat?

I became ill and began to run a constant low-grade fever. A rash broke out all over my upper body. Finally I went to the school infirmary. “How long has it been since your last bowel movement?” the doctor asked, looking concerned as she poked my stomach.

“A month. But usually I go once a week,” I assured her.

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